An Ongoing Struggle

I've been thinking about something I struggle with daily - being content. Why is it such a battle? And why is it one that most women face.

Whether it's our love life, or lack thereof. Our shape and size. Our work life or social life. Our longing for children, or our longing for them to grow up. Our house. Our clothes. Our cars. The list goes on and on. Why can't we be satisfied?

If you believe that God is a loving, merciful, all-powerful father who wants to bestow his best on each and every one of his daughters, then why can't we believe that what we have, right now, is what we were meant to have.

I suppose it goes back to Eve, once again. She wanted something more in the garden. She wanted what she thought was better, even though she already had the very best. Satan sowed those seeds of doubt, and she allowed them to take root and grow.

Oh, there are days I get so angry at Eve for all the suffering she released onto her offspring. But, then, I realize that when I am faced with the same choice each day, I usually choose as she did - to doubt my Lord.

If I could just see it that way when I'm actually making the choice to be unsatisfied, I think I could do better, by the grace of God. But, I feel like Paul, "the very things I don't want to do, I do."

Does any other sister in Christ out there struggle with this too?

I've Got the Fever

Today is a beautiful March day. It's warm, sunny, and only a slight breeze is blowing...and it's filling me with spring fever.

Me having spring fever is normally not necessarily a good thing. You see, it fills me with longings for things I don't have and usually involved me wanting to spend money.

For instance, I want to be packing up to be headed out on an exciting vacation. Maybe to San Diego, Disney World, or Europe. I want to go buy dozens of plants and fill up my pots and flowerbeds. I want to go buy spring clothes, get an iced coffee, and visit some expensive boutiques.

And, worst of all, I want a little sprout to take to the zoo. Oh, I can see it now. Me driving, and little sprout in the backseat, we pick up daddy at work at lunchtime. We drive to the zoo where we unload the stroller, diaper bag, and picnic basket. We stroll through the park, pointing out the elephants, tiger, and monkeys. And then we settle down at a picnic table to enjoy some lunch.

I know my imaginings are leaving out the crying because little sprout missed his nap, the sunburn because I forgot to put on sunscreen, and the squeaky wheel of the stroller...but it still sounds wonderful, even with all those negative possibilities.

Yes, spring fever is bringing with it baby fever, not that baby fever is ever very far away. But, I'm learning to be patient and enjoy where God has me right now...but I do love to imagine the future. And it is so wonderful and comforting to know that God knows the future and it is filled with hope!

A Quiet Revelation

It's dusk. I'm sitting on my back porch after a nice walk and the sun is setting. My back porch faces west...so I have the perfect view of the blue, purple, and pink hues glowing through the tree branches that act as the backdrop to my yard.

It is quiet. I can hear birds calling to one another. Probably some sparrows calling for their mates to settle into their nests. And maybe a mama quail whistling for her babies to quiet down for the night.

Yet, even out here...several miles from the city...I can hear the cars going by and airplanes flying overhead. It makes me wonder what it must have sounded like in Eden. When all the animals had settled in for the night and all was quiet. Perfectly, blissfully quiet. And not the frightening quiet that night can sometime produces.

And in this quiet, when all was still, God the Father would come and walk with Adam and Eve. To imagine him sitting down on the bench next to me and just talking with me like my earthly father or hubby would seems so wonderful and scary. What it must have been like to feel no shame or sadness or fear when you looked into His eyes. To simply be with Him. To bask in his love and companionship....

The star that was just peaking over the horizon a while ago is higher now - signaling it's time for me to go inside. But, I hope that in the busyness of tomorrow, I can stop and remember the calm and the quiet I've felt tonight. I hope you can too.

A Sad Day in the Turley Household

Dear readers,

I am sad to announce that my hubby's beloved McCosker's Wrasse us no longer with us. He has been missing since Saturday evening, and after it's second missed dinner, we've officially declared him gone.

It is a real pity too. He was so beautiful. See...

And, while there are times when I wish we had never entered the fish world, I do feel bad for my hubby. He loves those wet, finned creatures just as much as I love our little Fred.

But, such is life. So, Mr. McCosker, where ever you may be, know that you were loved for the two weeks your lived in our home and you will be missed!

I Have a Problem With...

Relaxing.

Yes, I know it's sad, but it's true. My husband and friends can even attest to the fact.

For example, this Saturday morning, as usual, Fred got us up at 7 a.m. I was already semi-awake, so I agreed to go play with him for a while so my hubby could sleep, then we'd trade off. The problem with this plan, though, is that I never trade off! By the time his time is up, I'm already too awake to go back to sleep.

So, from 7:30 to 8:30 a.m., I have done laundry, checked all my emails, started bread in the bread machine, fed the dog, decided what I'll wear today, and created a plan for the day. And, once I'm done writing this post, I'm going to do dishes and then start getting ready!

It is sad...and I think I may need an intervention. But, sitting and doing nothing doesn't appeal to me very often, and, even when I think it sounds good, once I start, I get bored and have to go find something to do.

I'm pretty sure I'm doomed to productive Saturday mornings for the rest of my life...but at least we'll always have clean underwear for Sunday!

A Promise to You and Myself

I do want to make one thing clear. I am writing this little blog for pure enjoyment, both for my own pleasure and, hopefully, for yours.

So, I am only going to pen my thoughts when I feel like it. I refuse to do it out of obligation!

I make that statement now, for all to see, because one day down the road, when life has gotten hectic and I haven't written for several days, I will feel bad about failing my little blog and my readers (assuming I have a few out there). I will feel like I've disappointed myself and you...and will feel pressured to write something.

But, I will not type a word! I already do too many things in my life out of obligation...and this little pet of mine will not be so disgraced.

So, if you should see a gap in my writings, just now that I am happily living my life, obligation free in this area, and I will return soon to tell you all about it.

Now, if I could only do that in other areas...how much simpler life would be!

The First Step of Many

After all the preparations, I'm now feeling rather shy about introducing my little blog to the great big world. You see, it is just a small, timid thing right now. Unsure of what to expect and wary of what others might think.

But, at least it is alive now, unlike many poor blogs that are still just thoughts in their owners' minds. And, I promise to do my best to nurture it, and prune it, and help it grow.

I should warn you, I cannot promise to be this whimsical all the time. You see, I am really several girls all in one. There is the astral, romantic Anne Shirley. The fearless, godly Corrie ten Boom. The practical, down-home Laura Ingalls Wilder. And, the adventurous, thrill-seeking Laura Croft Tomb Raider, to name just a few.

My love says that's why he never gets bored...he never knows which one to expect when he comes home. But, I like all my different facets. They're what make me, me. And, they are what will, hopefully, make this small, insignificant blog something of interest to read.