An Unsuspecting Moment of Quiet

This is our second day at the Mayo Clinic in Florida. For those that might not know, we finally tired of the Oklahoma doctors giving us the run around and I contacted the Mayo Clinic. That was a week ago, and now we're here in Florida for an unknown amount of time. Already we've been impressed with the clinic and the doctors, and we have no doubts that God opened the door and led us here.

Today Daniel had an EEG, and as I set in the dark as he slept and they watched his brain waves, I started praying. But, rather than just crying out for answers and healing, I started by giving thanks. I'm sorry to say that I'm not always very good at that - it's so easy to immediately jump into what I want or need.

This time was different though, probably because I feel like I've been asking and begging and saying the same prayer for the past four and a half months. I tried to say thanks for everything I could think of - Daniel, our marriage, our commitment to one another, his job, our financial situation, the support of our families, my choice to search out help outside of Oklahoma, the opening at the Mayo, the good experience we've had so far. Then I moved on to lifting up the doctors, the nurses, and whoever will be looking into Daniel's case. And, then, I made my requests, but even those where different. I tried to simply ask for Daniel's and I's acceptance of whatever lay ahead, as well as peace in the diagnosis, security in our marriage, and a joy that would be apparent to everyone we met in this process.

And, you know what? When the nurse came in and turned on the light, I wiped my eyes and felt more joy and peace and relief than I've felt in a long time. I know that my fears and tears aren't gone...unfortunately they always seem to reappear...but for know my heart is wonderfully content.

Don't You Love The Fall?

"It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address."

That is one of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies - "You've Got Mail." And, it perfectly describes how I've been feeling lately. The cooler weather has put me in the mood for pumpkins, fall candle scents, and sweaters. Every time I go to Hobby Lobby I can hardly stop myself from buying some sort of fall decoration, and I'm counting the days until I can decorate my house with all my autumn accent pieces. I'm convinced that I will hold out until after Labor Day, but it's getting harder. Technically, I've already started decorating because I put a pumpkin sign in my front yard and a fall wreath on my front door. But, I will wait on everything else. I will. I will. I will!

I'm not sure why I love the fall, except, perhaps, because of it's ties to school. For someone who loved school, fall meant new clothes, new school supplies, and a new schedule. It also meant new books and new opportunities. I was always so excited to hear from teachers, tutors, or my mom what new things we would be learning. Even in college, I loved combing through my syllabus and marking all the important deadlines and dates in my day planner. I'm such an academic nerd, I know, but I do love that about myself.

And, I look forward to the day when I have children that I can teach at home and pass on my love of learning to. Sadly, I already have shelves of textbooks, workbooks, and reading books for all ages...and we don't even had a little one in the oven yet. Oh, and not to mention my plans for our school room - complete with a dry erase board, bulletin board, and decorations from the local teacher supplies store. Yes, I do think of it often and joyfully play through those school days in my mind.

Oh, I hope the real cool weather comes soon. But, until then, I think I'll go find some pencils to sharpen...