Stronger Still

These past three months of silence are finally over. We have a computer again and our life has mostly returned to a blessed state of normality, something that I feared for some time would never return.

For those that don't know the story, starting in the middle of June, my hubby started having seizures. They came on suddenly and without reason. Since then, we've been to ER's, doctors, and specialists, and he's gone through about every kind of brain test there is. We are still in the search for a why, however the medicine his doctor has him on is working. He's had to slowly increase his dosage, which leaves him exhausted for a week every time it's increased while his body adjusts. The latest dosage seems to be working - he hasn't had a seizure since Saturday, which is an answer to prayer! The struggle isn't over yet, it will never probably go away, but we are making progress.

The past three months have taken a detour from our expected journey through life. There were times when I could barely make it through the day and my heart broke with the uncertainty of tomorrow. Early on, with everything was just happening, I had to force myself to imagine my life without Daniel. I've had to take on extra burdens so Daniel will have the strength to deal with his daily life. And, I've been through round and round of crying out to, questioning, and yelling at the Lord.

But, He has been faithful. When I felt he was silent, he was really just holding me. And, when I felt like his presence and voice was far away, he was really just whispering to my fragile heart.

I still don't understand - perhaps I never will. I can't comprehend why we've had to deal with so much in our short two years of marriage. The death of a grandparent. The stress of a first house. A surgery. A lost job. And now this. It seems so unfair and so overwhelming. Yet, we are still together. Still fighting. Still praying. God has never left us, and we are stronger because of it.